he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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