Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
