I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
