I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
