so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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