doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
