Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
