In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
