So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
