I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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