I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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