I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
