i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
