It's like a parade of train wrecks.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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