In the future we'll all be gay
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
