Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
