I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh god it's open bar.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
