she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
