Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
