The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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