she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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