Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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