If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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