Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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