Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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