you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize
