I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
