Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
