i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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