everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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