: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
