remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
