shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
