she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
