His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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