The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
