i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
