alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
