She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
