He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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