then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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