We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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