After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Everyone says I win the strip club
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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