dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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