Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
