i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
