Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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