last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize