We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Floor bacon is actually really good
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
