last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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