...so i touched it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
