3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Alive.
So much puke
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
