that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
