it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
