he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
There r osticjed everywhere
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
