oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
