We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize