You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i will never coherently bang her
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
